“I can’t. I have homework to do.”
Never in a million years did I think I’d have to say those words again; but I find myself juggling homework, household duties, volunteering, writing and everything else in between. While my husband would most certainly tell me that my household duties are optional and my standards of cleanliness a little high, a cluttered house equals a cluttered mind.
I struggle keeping up with one class and can’t help but wonder how I will manage when my course load doubles in the Fall. (Yes, all of 2 classes.) I am working hard to keep up with my writing deadlines; deadlines I have made for myself but feel necessary in order to nourish my passion for the craft. Don’t get me wrong, I have an end goal in sight; it just seems quite far-sighted at this point. I am just dipping my feet in the shallow end of the pool waiting for the steep slope to carry me to the deep end.
Floaties anyone?
Perhaps some of my stress comes from the fact that I parlayed my first 2 1/2 years of college back in the olden days (the 90’s) into less than mediocre grades, 50 extra pounds and a penchant for skipping class in order to rack up credit card debt. My 37 year-old self is looking at my 19 year-old self thinking, “Oh no you didn’t!”
Could I be a victim of my own overcompensation?
But isn’t that what we’re supposed to do when we get a chance at a do over; make up for the fact that we blew it the first time?
I can’t really blame myself for stressing, but as a wise Mr. Miyagi once so wisely said, “First learn balance.”
So while yes, it’s okay to be committed; I have to be wary I don't end up committed!
No comments:
Post a Comment