The Ides of March

Technically it’s Day 2 of my plunge into housewifedom, but my first day as a housewife was a little busier than I thought. Personally, I would consider Day 1 an epic failure, but according to my Housewife Coach, I did great and advised I best pace myself if I am to survive a stay-at-home existence.

I am a college-educated 30-something who was never without a job for very long; even when in the throes of unemployment I considered myself grossly unsuccessful. I was raised to know exactly what I wanted to do with the rest of my life by the time I was 18 and entered my freshman year of college. Ironically, my father never loved the profession he chose and my mother never graduated college until she was in her 50’s, well after her three daughters had received their diplomas. Mixed message? Perhaps. But don’t all parents want better for their children than they do for themselves - or at least what they think is better?

So I graduated college in the four years allotted by my parents and started working at a job I thought maybe I wanted to do for the rest of my life. That lasted less than a year.

Turns out, for some of us, figuring out what you want to do for the rest of your life takes a whole lot of living to figure out. And so for the better part of 16 years I went from job to job thinking - yes, this is what I want to do - until I realized that it wasn’t.

So what happened when I finally figured out what I did want to do? I denied myself acceptance because it seemed too simple, not lucrative and something I had turned a deaf ear to because - well, because it seemed too simple and not lucrative. So I buried it. And I kept burying it until it started to affect other aspects of my life, namely my marriage.

I am fortunate to have a spouse who recognized my unhappiness and fully supported a change in my lifestyle. This decision to change my situation, however, came after many heart-to-hearts and careful planning in almost every aspect of our lives. I am fortunate enough to be in a position where I don’t have to work; but despite my husband’s full support both emotionally and financially, it took me a long time to actually resign from my most recent job.

Being an employed woman means something to me. It means I am not a failure. It means I am independent. It means I do not need a man even though I am married to one. I allowed my self worth to be tied to being gainfully employed regardless if I was happy in a job or not. Until recently I have followed everything but my heart. Having a supportive spouse has allowed me to lead with my heart for the first time. It feels good, but I would be lying if I said it was easy. Day 2 feels good. Talk to me on Day 100.

Over the course of my musings I hope to convey my successes and struggles in my new role as The Housewife of Ormond Beach with candor, humor and lessons learned. Right now I am trying to keep up with all the goals I have set for myself on a daily basis using the daily planner I brought home from work. Last week’s tasks consisted of marketing meetings, event planning and donor relations. This week it’s trying to map out my errands in a logical order so I don’t have to zig zag across the street; saving money by becoming the vegetarian’s answer to Paula Deen; and being able to eat off my floors despite having three cats and a dog. Anything is possible at this point!